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Monday, September 18, 2006

Illustration Friday - Change

Untitled - acrylic, collage and ink on canvas

This is a little ambiguous I'm afraid but that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I said in a previous post (or two) that things were changing and so they are. I can't say how exactly because apart from being flung into a technological no-man's land by my computer (at least the internet is still working!) nothing in a physical sense has changed. It's all in my head. After years of working and striving to make a living as a commercial artist I find myself in a position where I want to produce more of my own art and make a living from that instead, the commercial side of my career doesn't thrill me anymore. I've worked my behind off trying to update my design site but the nearer I get to completing it the more I want to run away from it. Now here's the problem - I've got a massive list of contacts and opportunities to persue were I to have a number of artworks I thought were worthy. But I am not there yet, nearly but not quite. I've got the techniques down but the paintings get lost half way through, I either leave them unfinished or force myself to finish them and take them where I don't want to go like the one picture above. Fear of discovering that really I have been a fraud along and I would be better off stacking shelves somewhere could be at the heart of it but I know I have to press forward and find out the truth one way or other. And at least I have my commercial work to fall back on. I want to change and I am changing, I'm just not sure how or where.

12 comments:

Rande said...

Your painting is gorgeous. And you are not the only one who has had the very same feelings you are having. I have a stack of that kind of artwork. Please continue to let us see your work!

Digital Scott's illustrationblog said...

Your image is very beautiful! I wished I couldv'e seen it even bigger. I'd love to know your process and technique. I also could really relate to your words! I hope things will soon become clear and that you will be lead down the best path for you. Blessings!

Tabu said...

I'm a commercial artist as well, branching out into "illustration." If you hadn't claimed this to be unfinished I never would have guessed. I love the mystery. I love the outline forms. I love the colors. This is a gorgeous piece. It works AS IS. I wouldn't change a thing!

Elayna Alexandra said...

I really like this one, its so light and yet with so much life in it.
Thank you for sharing.

natural attrill said...

This is just one stage of your journey, you'll never get there, 'there' is no such place, but the process will be exciting, and I admire the fact that you are moving and thinking about it, it's so easy just to stay stuck in a rut. Sorry, I am blabbering on rather. By the way, I really like this painting, I think it is my favourite piece from your work that I have seen so far. It's a funny old world!
Penny.x

Suzie Q said...

This is a beautiful piece, Karen, and a beautiful post, too!
Your work is wonderful & you have a style that is so unique. I'm certain that you will do well, and I certainly don't see you stacking shelves! ;) Just play your way through the changes, creating from the heart. All will be well...

My very best wishes xXx

Neasa said...

It's so hard to know what to say when someone is feeling these things. The feelings themselves are valid, of course, but not necessarily the true point. Your work moves people - that's an established fact. You're the artist who made me love pastel colors!

I think it's ok to leave things on the back burner to brew awhile. The danger in that is in never returning to stir the pot.

This will pass - ebb & flow is natural & each state is necessary. You're so gifted, your work is absolutely unique & unassuming. Yet at the same time, for me, it shows me possibilities of lightness & serenity that are often absent in my day-to-day. It's ok if you allow others to believe FOR you from time to time. You're no fraud. Maybe things are incubating, not yet ready to show themselves. Maybe they need rest. Maybe they want to speak different truths than the ones you're trying to make them say. It can be that simple. Stocking shelves is not an option here, I think.

Warmest regards,
Neasa

Norah's said...

Hi Kala, Just listen to your muse with no preconceived notion ahead of time about what your art will be. It is the inner critic that has you in a dither...maybe. And I really really do understand change and wanting it and trying to make it happen but being apprehensive about it too.
Oh and I love your collage today.
Sharon

irisz said...

very harmonious colours

carla said...

This painting is so beautiful. You have a wonderfully soft touch, and the work I've seen here is truly captivating. It's hard making a change, but it's important to listen to your inner voice...it tells you where you must go. Perhaps you should let go of expectations and just paint until it's "done." Then see what you have. Sometimes our mental images block the flow of what really wants to come out. Good luck:>

Kala said...

thank you everyone for your kind and encouraging comments and advice, it means a lot!

Gabriella Travaline said...

i love the moodiness of this piece with its subdued colors and distant shapes- very beautiful!